Some thoughts on life of late...

For those of you expecting an update on my life since October 7th, the date of my last post, I must apologize ahead of time for not doing so in great detail. That said, let me strive to capture my thoughts in this post without digressing too much...

A friend of mine is in a connect group here at Oasis and the theme of her connect group is the fruits of the Spirit. Recently, I received an e-mail from John Maxwell talking about the fruits of leadership and how the leadership model coincides with the Fruits listed in chapter five of Galatians:

• Love: Is my leadership motivated by a love for people?
• Joy: Do I experience an unshakeable joy, regardless of life's circumstances?
• Peace: Do people see my peace and take courage?
• Longsuffering: Do I wait patiently for results as I develop people or goals?
• Kindness: Am I caring and understanding toward everyone I meet?
• Goodness: Do I want the best for others and the organization?
• Faithfulness: Have I kept my commitments?
• Gentleness: Is my strength under control? Can I be both tough and tender?
• Self-control: Am I disciplined to make progress toward my goals?

-From The Maxwell Leadership Bible.

So now that everyone has a point of reference...

As I look through each of these traits of a leader, they really hit home to me. The part about "unshakeable joy" really hit home lately. As many know, I have been from couch to couch since I moved here. We could spend all day listing my excuses for why I don't have the money or steady job for an apartment, but I digress...

What I am learning through all the disorganization of not being employed full-time, not paying for my own apartment, and not having my own vehicle is that my joy is found in Christ. He takes care of His own. He will supply all my needs (Phil. 4:19). He wants me to exchange all my heavy burdens for His light burdens (Matt. 11:28). He wants me to seek first His kingdom (Matt 6:33). So, throughout and despite my circumstances, I have unshakeable joy. Why? Because my joy is found in Christ and He is my immoveable rock and my salvation (Psalm 62). What or whom am I to fear (Psalm 27)?

So as I learned to have joy, I began to work on the other fruits as well...

Peace. Much like joy, the peace I experience comes from a faith that is not grounded in the tangible, but in the intangible.

Longsuffering. This one's killer. Whenever we pray for patience, I often falsely think it will happen like that *snaps fingers* but yet I realize in James, the trying of your faith works patience. Translation: we will go through many trials and tribulation because it is these things that provide opportunities for us to practice patience.

Self-control. This is one trait that I thought I had down. After all, I've spent my whole life trying to count to ten so I don't lose my temper. What I am now learning is that self-control applies in the area of sexual purity, finance, and time-management in addition to temperament. This self-control was inspired by the Proverbs study by Pastor Philip that my Connect group recently finished. In Proverbs 25:28, a man without control on his temper is compared to a city without walls. As I read that, I visualized how that could apply to my life. Without walls, a city cannot control what comes in and goes out of itself. This dawned revelation over what I had allowed in while I was so focused on my responses. As a result, I feel the world losing its grip on my mind. Things that used to be enjoyable are no longer enjoyable because I see the vanity in the time spent on such activities.

An example of how self-control and patience work hand in hand.... As many of you know, I lost my phone some time ago. After replacing it with a temporary cheap replacement phone, I misplaced the charger for it, yet I knew that I had it, I just couldn't remember where I left it in the chaos of having two places where I stored my stuff. I wrestled with buying a new phone for $20....which doesn't seem like much, but then I remembered that I had the charger, I just needed to look a bit harder for it, so I didn't buy the charger. I promptly found it the other day right after I had decided not to purchase the other phone and charger. Patience to wait to find it, and self-control not to purchase it. God rocks...

So there you have it. A small glimpse into the busy mind of Loren. The hurdles I have overcome with the presence of mercy and grace of a loving Savior, the lessons I have learned through humility and seeking wisdom. Humility happens in stages. When I feel humble, a circumstance will come along that gives opportunity for me to submit to wisdom, or fodder in my futility. When I give it up to God, that act of surrender lowers me to a place of greater reliance on Him. This last for a time, then repeats itself. Us humans are pretty freaking stubborn...

All that to say, I still have a long way to go, but as I look back on what I have learned, I feel like 2008 has been a year of great progress for me spiritually and mentally. I feel a sense of urgency to fulfill God's call, yet I rest in His timing. I pray maturity and this spiritual growth will continue and explode into 2009 and beyond.

"I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see." -Jeremy Camp

Information Saturation

“There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.” This quote from Emerson personifies much of what I have come to believe over time. Often when I read, listen, or watch the news for a long period of time, my mood shifts drastically. The information I take in affects me adversely. I have found that purposefully avoiding the source of information allows me to take control over how I react to the range of information with which I am constantly bombarded. However, I also realized that even at the beginning of the last century, a “simpler” life existed.

Modern civilization, among many other changes, has evolved into a society that exists in a virtually inescapable onslaught of information. From the days of the pony express to the mere seconds of e-mail, IM, and text messaging, the methods of mass media have changed their faces. With these changes has also come a more complicated way of life—automobiles, mobile telephones, computers. Complicated in the sense that things are more complex, yet more efficient in the way they allow us to live our lives. The delivery system of modern media has radically and permanently altered the way we communicate by affording us prompt access to pertinent and time-sensitive information.

I asked myself the question, Am I at a point where I rely on the media too much? At the shocking realization that I did, the actual triviality of all this information became rather apparent. Quite simply, the news that one hears has little to do with the other side of eternity. True, a follower of Christ is affected by the same things that alter the lives of everyone in the world. The difference lies in how we handle that information.

For me, I found that when I compared the events of the day in eternity's light, these seemingly important matters became noticeably dimmer. When our worldview aligns with scripture, we can more easily handle less than favorable news and events. Remeber, the truth of God’s word trumps anything that happens in the world. I’ve read the end—God wins and we win! Until then, we are compelled to praise Him at all times.

David wrote about this in Psalm 34: “I will praise the Lord at all times; his praise is always on my lips.” I think this is a good example to follow. After all, we already have good news: “People who do what is right may have problems, but the Lord will solve them all. He will protect their very bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will kill the wicked; those who hate good people will be judged guilty. But the Lord saves his servants’ lives; no one who trusts him will be judged guilty.” (Psalm 34: 19-22). I yearn for the day where the only thing in which I'm saturated is God's book of life instructions.

It’s no surprise that we live in a fallen world; Romans 1 illustrates this fact in detail. Our responses to such corruption demonstrates our level of faith in God. Living our lives as closely by God’s design as possible requires that we be discerning individuals in all matters. Everything that passes through our brains needs to take a detour the our hearts, where the Holy Spirit filter gives us insight into the eternal perspective.

Where are you getting your news?

"Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that's not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in him, so you can see and hear him clearly. You don't need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything."
-Colossians 2:8-10, The Message

The Fleecing of the American Taxpayer

[Note: This post is a reprint from a blog by former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. Please note that this is a reprint. The reason I am reposting it is because I strongly agree with his sentiments regarding the proposed "solution" to the economic problems we now face. Forthcoming will be my own research on the topic. Until then, be enlightened. Thank you.]

Dear Huck PAC family,

I ask 2 things of you right now:

First, read this email completely. I’m including my thoughts on the “bailout bill,” and I believe you will find them of interest. Second, if you agree with what I have to say, support my efforts at Huck PAC so we’ll continue to have a strong voice and we’ll have the capacity to support conservative candidates all across the nation who will stand and fight for our conservative principles … especially in times of crisis like we are facing as a nation today.

Frankly, I’m disappointed and disgusted with my own Republican party as I watch them attempt to strong-arm a bailout of some of America’s biggest corporations by asking the taxpayers to suck up the staggering results of the hubris, greed, and arrogance of those who sought to make a quick buck by throwing the dice. They lost, but want the rest of us to cover their bets so they won’t be effected in their lavish lifestyles as they figure out how to spend their tens of millions and in some cases, hundreds of millions in bonuses and compensation which was their reward for not only sinking their companies, but basically doing the same to the entire American economy.

It’s especially disconcerting to see the very people who pilloried me during the Presidential campaign for being a “populist” and not “understanding Wall Street” to now line up like thirsty dogs at the Washington, D. C. water dish, otherwise known as Congress, and plead for help. I thought these guys were the smartest people in America! I thought that taxpayers like you and I were similar to the people at the U. N. who have no translator speaking into their headset - that we just needed to trust those that I called the power bunch in the “Wall Street to Washington axis of power.”

The idea of a government bailout in which we’d entrust $700 billion to one man without Congressional oversight or accountability is absurd. My party or not, that is insanity and I believe unconstitutional.

Will there be far-reaching consequences without some intervention? Probably, but we honestly don’t know since we’ve really never seen this level of greed and stupidity all rolled into one massive move. But may I suggest that letting “Uncle Sugar” step in and bail out the billionaires who made the mess will be far worse and will start a long line of companies and individuals who will demand the same of the government---which last time I checked means that they will be demanding it out of YOU and ME. This is not money that Congress is risking from THEIR pockets or future, but ours. Many if not most of us have already experienced lost value on our homes, retirement accounts, and pensions. Now they’d like for us to assume some further risks so they won’t have to.

What happened to the “free market” idea? Is that only our view when we WIN and when we LOSE, we ask the government to come in and take away the pain?

If you are a small business owner, is this the way it works at your place? When you have a bad month, a bad year, or face having to close, can you go up to Congress and get them to write YOU a fat check to take away your risk?

Some of what contributed to this disaster is too much government in the form of Sarbanes/Oxley. Some is due to the tax structure that created the hunger for companies to “game” the system. Some is the common sense that was ignored like loaning money to people who can’t pay it back.

Wall Street has become Las Vegas east, but at least in Vegas, people KNOW they are gambling and they don’t expect the government to cover their losses at the tables. In Wall Street, they do. And the American taxpayer burdens the responsibility.

If Congress wants to do something, here are some suggestions:

1. Eliminate ALL capital gains taxes and taxes on savings and dividends right now. Free up the capital and encourage investment. This is the kind of economic stimulus the Fair Tax would bring and if Congress is going to lose money, let them lose it with lower taxes, not with public dollar bailouts of private market mistakes.

2. Repeal Sarbanes/Oxley. It has failed. It was supposed to prevent this. It didn’t. Kill it.

3. Demand that the executives who steered their ships into the ground be forced to pay back the losses of their companies. Of course, they can’t, so let them work and give back to the government and they can live like the people they put on the streets or kept there. It makes no sense to put them in jail—that’s just more they will cost you and me. I’d rather them go out and earn money—just not get to keep so much of it this time. I’m not talking about limiting CEO salaries---just those of the people who now are up in Washington begging for help because they ruined their companies.

Attempts by Democrats and Republicans to blame each other is nonsense. They are both guilty and ought to own up and admit it. They all lived off big campaign contributions and the swill of the lobbyists who strong armed them into permission to steal. Enough of blame. Fix it!

This would be a start. If we don’t hold these guys responsible, we are all finished.

Your support today will send a strong message to our Party Leadership in Washington that we are fed up with “business as usual!” And it will give us the resources to support strong conservative candidates who are campaigning hard for election this November. Those folk who share our beliefs and who will fight …not bail … on our principles. Please make an immediate contribution of $25, $50, $75, $100 or more to help make certain that the “business as usual” of Washington politics stops in January.

Thank you for your continued support and God Bless

Mike Huckabee
Huck PAC

Oprah's Big Hoax and the importance of fire insurance

This whole Oprah thing has got me in a writing mood. I know I haven't written in awhile, but I just had to tonight in light of everything going on.

Interesting how the only time Christians can agree on anything is when a figure like Oprah blatantly blasphemes the Bible, yet these same professed "followers" of Christ largely ignore hypocrisy within and without the church walls. Interesting how there are many sermons in churches today about how Jesus served humanity, yet the majority of these members chorus an "Amen" or two, throw in their pocket change, and go off to Sunday dinner feeling self righteous and satisfied that they have fulfilled their godly duty for the week when they have done little more than act the audience. It is these same people who suddenly and miraculously unite when God's holy scripture (which they don't follow anyway) is suddenly trampled upon by Oprah, of all people! Man, how could she! After all, she is America's most successful and prolific black woman. Just like nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee, nobody doesn't like Oprah. She makes her mark on the world doing her share of good deeds. Yet these good deeds done without a commitment to Christ carry no eternal value beyond death.

If faith without works is dead, than works without faith is as well.

But are all Christians guilty of inaction? By no means. On the contrary; many Christ-followers are busy doing God's work around the world. This message is not geared towards them. Rather, it is aimed at calling out all the James 1:22 people of the world.

Let's do a little comparison. Oprah spends the majority of her time and money helping people. She is being ostracized by the people who are supposed to be doing the same thing, yet they are sitting on the sidelines discrediting her because she said something that is really nothing new. I mean, how long has the whole truth comes from within pick-your-own-Jesus argument been around? Heck, it predates Christianity! Maybe it's time to turn the finger of judgment onto ourselves, and become part of the solution.

I wonder what kind of world we would live in if a God-fearing follower of Christ had the kind of influence that Oprah commands. Perhaps it would be a world full of people going out of their way trying to outdo one another in good works. And not because they would win lots of money, but because they exude Christ's love and it seeps out from every fiber of their being. Her show already has people basically doing what Jesus commanded.

Sounds like she has it together...except for the God element.

Are we to be outdone by someone who is as nutty as Oprah, yet has such great ideas for solving problems in the world? Oh what a sad time it is for the church. Wake up, people! We're getting outdone by a woman who doesn't even believe God is divine!

So is what Oprah doing wrong? We can approach her situation from a biblical perspective and realize that she is doing a lot of things right. She is just doing them for a cause that is bound to this physical realm. We can approach problems in the same way, using many of the same methods, except the difference would be we would be serving the people of this needful world for a Higher Purpose.

I do not condone Oprah's hoax. Let me make that clear. The Bible explicitly condemns idolatry and urges us to be like Christ in His humility. We need to apply God's standard to our conduct to see if we even measure up to our own standards before we start judging some worldly figure with whom our worldview is not shared. Christians, followers of Christ, should be out there in unity, promoting good deeds and sharing our relationship with our Creator and Savior with the desperate people of this planet. If we did that, we would not even have time to judge others because we would be so busy helping people. Let me be the first to admit that I am not there. I, like Paul, am making "every effort to take hold of it [the goal] because I have been taken hold of by Christ"(Philippians 3:12). Earlier in this passage, he speaks of knowing Christ.

To fully know Christ is to be like Christ. Part of being like Him is obedience to God and serving others. This is what Jesus taught and exemplified in His ministry. This is my prayer. I want to be like Christ and have His love for humanity. I pray all who read this find comfort in that we are all in this race together. Let's keep each other focused with our eyes on the prize and not jump on a bandwagon of hate because someone does not agree with us. In the words of Hard Rock Cafe, love all, serve all...just make sure you've got fire insurance first.

Nugget Wisdom

Note: The following is excerpted from the March/April 2008 RELEVANT Magazine. It is by Cameron Strang, founder of the Relevant Media Group. I highly recommend this magazine. I am going to make a valiant effort to not merely live by these, but inspire others as well.

Nugget 1: If your dream is to start something like a company, non-profit, etc., take time and do your research. I get emails all the time from college students looking for shortcuts. There aren't any. RELEVANT's first issue rolled off the press when I was 27. Do that math-that's eight years after I actively started pursuing it. In hindsight, every one of those years played a pivotal role in what RELEVANT ultimately became. Bottom line, don't be impatient.

Nugget 2: Surround yourself with people who will challenge you. If you're surrounded by small thinkers, pessimists and people who just float through life, guess what, you will too. Likewise, if you surround yourself with people who live outwardly, are passionate about God, dream big and want to make a difference, guess what, you will too. Are the people you surround yourself with going the direction in life you want to go? If not, as hard as it may be, you might need to make some changes.

Nugget 3: If God puts a dream in you, by all means go for it--but on the journey, don't lose sight of Him. It's easy to get so busy doing things for God that we sometimes lose our relationship with Him. If that happens, drop everything and get your life focused back on the only thing that matters.

Nugget 4: Seek wise counsel, but don't just do what people think you should. Listen to advice with one ear, and then evaluate it against what God called you to do. You'll quickly learn that everyone has an opinion, but it's only you who has your unique vision. At the same time, be teachable. You don't know everything.

Nugget 5: Whenever possible, write in nugget form.

Nugget 6: Always keep tomorrow in mind, but never lose sight of the season God has you in today. If things aren't going as planned, could God be trying to get your attention about something? (That's usually the case with me.) Never be so focused on tomorrow that you don't fully appreciate and take advantage of the season you're in.

Nugget 8 [sic]: You're either moving toward something or away from it. If you have a dream you'd like to see happen one day, what are you tangibly doing today to pursue it? It won't happen on it's own.

Nugget 9 Be OK with failing. When you remove that fear, it gets a lot easier to take risks on God. If you're not worried about the landing, would you be more willing to make the jump?

Nugget 10 Marry up. It helps.

So you see, these are some great things to keep in mind as you and I dream. Never forget to keep your eyes on God and your head out of the clouds.

To all my fellow dreamers. Never give up.

Feminism, Godly Leadership, and Valentine's Day...would you like tea with that?

It's Valentine's Day. Time to celebrate love, right? Time for us men to come out of our proverbial doghouses and make up for our misdeeds. In a way, it's our day of jubilee, in reference to Israel, where every 50 years, slaves were freed, debts were forgiven, and people were given a clean slate.

Well, at least that's the way it works in 21st-century America.

We live in a society that glorifies women to the point of ridiculousness. Yes, that's a word. Where men are made out to be bumbling fools, instead of the godly leaders we were created to be. This is tragic and untrue.

From the beginning, God has designed men to be in charge of things. In a combination of societal femininity on the rise and normal men screwing up, we have become a culture that often makes men out to be weak and feeble while the females now brandish Beretta's and kick alien ass. Think: Resident Evil. Perhaps a history lesson is in order to explain the beginnings of how God intended it to be.

Last night at the Boundaries in Dating class at Oasis, Pastor Jeff reminded us of the story of Adam. This guy had to prove he could be trusted alone, with the affairs of operating a world by himself before he could be trusted with a wife. Note that his lonely state was only remedied after he had proven himself worthy to lead the animals and take care of the wonderful garden of Eden God created.

Some days I wish we were back there.

In a way we are. Once we become independent of our parents in life, we men must prove that we can be trusted with a few things (bills, rent, groceries, car payments) before we (should) look for a wife. Of course, to say that we have attained these things would be a gross miscalculation of our plentiful shortcomings. I'll call them that because mistakes occur after we have the same shortcoming again, the point being we are supposed to learn from our mistakes. Proverbs is ripe with wisdom on such matters.

No, it is not about perfection, but about the tenacious pursuit of righteousness (Philippians 3:12). Forget the past, look to what is ahead.

So ladies, when you see what we are doing right, let us know, throw us a proverbial bone once in awhile.

Too often in society we mention the flaws around us rather than noticing the good. The news media is chock full of bad news because, truthfully, bad news sells. That is the unfortunate hand we have been dealt.

I cannot speak for all men, but as for me, when I get a compliment, I shall try to reciprocate. I will notice when you ladies exemplify godly characteristics. After all, in all things we are to be grateful. No matter if you have a girl, a guy, or neither, remember that we all can acknowledge each other when we see the good. Happy Valentine's Day.

An Industry of Death

Today, Nicole and I visited the world-famous museum of psychiatry in Hollywood. Some of this information I already knew, whether due to my questioning nature or by by personal experience with various medications over the years. However, I had no idea of the complexity and deception that is the psychiatry world. It is a pseudoscience based on nothing but theories. Interviews from the world APA convention held in Toronto in 2003 showed that even psychiatrists themselves, while medicating patient after patient, reveal that their own occupation has no cures documented whatsoever and admit that there is no actual laboratory proof of any of their methods.

The museum is located on Sunset Boulevard in the heart of Hollywood and is international headquarters of the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, an organization that was started by the church of Scientology, a rather dangerous cult if I dare say. Nonetheless, it is promoted by influential members of Hollywood's elite, most notably John Travolta and Tom Cruise, and miscellaneous other lesser-known characters behind the scenes. But I digress...

The exhibit itself was shocking and further solidified my convictions in being substance-free.

Let me back up a bit.

I was diagnosed with ADD or ADHD when I was in high school. I had the typical symptoms: inattention, lack of organization, restlessness. So we took the appropriate action, prescribing medication after medication including Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, and ultimately, Adderall. Yes, Paxil, that same drug that was linked to depression and ultimately suicide in several people, and Adderall, virtually a legalized version of speed. Luckily, I survived my time on these medications, but others aren't so lucky, as the exhibit graphically portrays. From patient abuse in nursing homes and psych wards and accidental overdoses to psychiatry's link to schools of thought that eventually led to Nazi Germany. And don't think America is exempt in this. Oh no, au contraire my friends.

After several years switching from med to med, I began to grow weary of the side effects, particularly from Adderall. These included dry mouth, loss of appetite, bowel problems, trouble sleeping, a rapid heart rate at times, and the one that I cared about most, a stifling of my creativity, the very core of my personality. I lost weight because I had no appetite and the drug made my heart beat faster, burning more calories.

After some research, I made the decision to go cold turkey off the drug, against my doctors orders. The withdrawel was fairly severe. I was moody, it was extremely tough to wait it out, but it was worth it, because I got myself back. Like some had said all along, I didn't really need the drug. Sure, I had problems getting organized, who doesn't? Sure, I didn't manage time well, but there are classes for that. Yes, I had trouble concentrating, but with a willing heart to work at it, just a little more tenaciously than most, I overcame such obstacles.

I now carry a planner, just a faux leather, but it helps me organize my life...but only when I use it. Once I realized there is no shame in writing things down (this is a daily struggle, since I stubbornly continue to try and remember everything), my life becomes more organized and less chaotic.

Certainly at the forefront of this transformation is the One who created my brain so complex and unique, so vivacious, so utterly unfathomable-my Savior. Like the psalmist so truly spoke, God designed me that way, wired me to be all that I am! He knew my inner parts, and He created me to be who I am. May I be that man without fear that I am somehow inadequate because of my creative quirks. Thanks, Jesus, for my sound mind and a brain that functions well, for I never want to take for granted the mind that I have been given; there are many in the world who would gladly take what some may consider rubbish. Let us never forget that.

Worshipping Worship

Note: This is a reprint of an article I posted on relevantmagazine.com earlier in my musings. Ponder away, my curious friends!


My name is Loren W., and I am a recovering worship-music-aholic.

There, I said it. They say that the first step to recovery is admitting that you have an addiction, so I took it.

I am one of those people who listen to music constantly-in the car, doing dishes, cleaning my room, cleaning my (gasp!) bathroom, pretty much anywhere I have a stereo available. Why? Because I…well, I don’t even think I know the answer to that anymore. I used to think it was because I loved music, but then I realized that everybody and their dead grandmother love music. It seems that no matter what style it is, music is playing everywhere all the time.

But is it taking up too much of our time?

That question came to me one day while I searched through my CD collection for the umpteenth time looking for something I wanted to listen to for longer than a few minutes. I began to realize that I really was not in the mood for anything that I had in my collection, not even worship music, not even the new Hillsong United CD. I began to ask myself, why, in all these 300 CD’s that I own, can I not find anything I want to listen to? As the answer began to emerge, it surprised me.

I was sick of music.

Don’t get me wrong, I love music, I was just dissatisfied. I wondered why, with all the good music out there, how can I not find anything I wanted to listen to at that moment in time?

It was because I had used music to try and fill up the hole inside that only God could fill. I was spending time with the music He created instead of the Author of it. I kept searching for more and more good worship music when I was really missing the whole point of worship.

Worship is a lifestyle, first and foremost. That sounds funny coming from a guy who grew up in a progressive church where dancing before God, praying in tongues, and getting slain in the spirit all while experiencing awesome worship were the norm. But that’s just what it was for me. An experience. I fell in love with His creation, music, and all our hopelessly inadequate attempts to come even a little bit close to describing how awesome our God is rather than getting to know the Author of it all.

I had been worshipping worship.

Wait a second, you’re thinking, I thought idolatry is wrong…how is worship wrong? The American Heritage definition of an idol is “a person or thing that is blindly or excessively adored.” Sounds like I had violated Exodus 20:1—“Thou shalt have no other gods [idols] before me.”

I thought worship brought me closer to God, but really, it is getting close to God that true worship comes forth. It is then that I can worship out of overwhelming desire to give back to God and proclaim His greatness with all that is within me rather than out of a desire to get the “warm fuzzies.”

Outside of church, I would put worship on wherever I was and seek to feel closer to God, but I rarely cracked open the Word or did much praying when the music was off. As I listened, I would get to the point that all I wanted to do was worship God. Then I would finish whatever I was doing, turn the music off, and continue about my day as if I hadn’t come close to touching the feet of God five minutes before.

So this dissatisfaction in music came down to a lack of a solid foundation in Christ. I knew God, but I did not really know who He was. Undoubtedly, I was a Christian in every sense of the word (saved, born again, yada, yada, yada) but I wasn’t a God-follower. In my mind, I was still in my shallow days as a newbie when I should realistically have been way deeper.

However, God didn’t look at it like that. To my shallow, finite mind, my lack of spiritual growth was a failure on my part, but in God’s perfect wisdom, He saw it as a catalyst to draw me deeper in my walk with Him, the opening of a new chapter in my life in Christ. I looked at it as a plateau that I needed to overcome, but God saw it as a stepping stone to greater things.

So in conclusion, I would like to say that things are peachy and I’m on cloud nine, but that just isn’t the case (surprise!). I still have the same problems as any other college twentysomething. The difference is I was open to a problem area in my life that God revealed. I still play and listen to worship music, but I also strive to end every night in the Word, meditating on it “day and night” so I can “carefully observe everything written in it” (Joshua 1:8), and ultimately live a lifestyle of worship.

Welcome to church, now sign this waiver...

"Church sues to avoid threat.""Lawsuit against pastor dismissed." These were all headlines from the "Faith" page of the local newspaper the other day. My heart was saddened to read of such things. It is so sad to see the church in America disobeying its own rules set forth in God's world. How are we supposed to be a light to the world when our own light isn't even shining brighter than the darkness? How are the lives of Christ followers showing Christ's love to a world who is in desperate need of something different? It is sad to see the disunity among the brothers and sisters of God's earthly kingdom.

In I Corinthians 6, Paul speaks strongly of the role of God-followers in a judgment role:"If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints?"

Right there in black and white, it says that Christians are called to a higher standard. In the structure of the early church for which Jesus set the foundation, God creates the infrastructure for successful operation of His holy church. Notice, I said church, not churches. Denominations are man-made concoctions from those moments we thought we were divine. Last time I looked in the mirror, I saw a man who could stand to look a lot more like his Creator.

And perhaps so could many of us.

Maybe if we followed God's instructions for structuring church instead of trusting in our own understanding (Proverbs 3) we can avoid eventually signing a waiver just to enter the church.